slug: "furry/ardha"
lang: en
title: "The Crew of the Ardhanarishvara"
pageCreated: "1999-12-31"
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h1 The Crew of the #[i Ardhanarishvara]
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p ⚠️ #[b This page contains #[em optional] #[+sc("NSFW")] passages.]
p Are you of legal age and willing to read such material?
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button#disclaimer-nsfw(onclick="enableNsfw();" commandfor="disclaimer" command="close") #[strong Yes, please!] #[small Let it all hang out]
button#disclaimer-sfw(onclick="disableNsfw();" commandfor="disclaimer" command="close") #[strong No, thanks] #[small Keep it rated 15]
p #[i You can change this preference at any time using the toggle in the corner.]
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+h2("About Castor")
blockquote.epigram “It’s like I said, babe: nothing but ab-so-lute trash.”
ul.vital-stats
h3 **Crew manifest**
li #[strong NAME]#[span.list-buffer /]Castor Bobrski, BSc
li #[strong DEPT]#[span.list-buffer /]Engineering
li #[strong BORN]#[span.list-buffer /]Armstrong City, Indiana, U.S.
li #[strong SPCS]#[span.list-buffer /]#[i Castor canadensis sapiens] (North American beaver[taur])
li #[strong GNDR]#[span.list-buffer /]Male
li #[strong SXLT]#[span.list-buffer /]Bisexual, but heteroromantic; can’t see himself settling down with another man
li #[strong RLGN]#[span.list-buffer /]N/A
p #[b Castor Bobrski] never asked for any of this. He only took a place on the #[i Ar­dha­na­rish­vara] because he was sick to death of his old job as the only engineer on an Aldrin cycler full of loutish tourists — why not put his talents to use for the greater good? Unfortunately for him, the universe had other plans.
h3 Physical
p Castor is a perfectly ordinary anthropomorphic beaver, as long as you under no circumstances look at any part of him beneath the neck. Either of them. Ten minutes before the #[i Ardhanarishvara] set off through a wormhole to Eta Geminorum, he found himself trapped in a part of the ship with no shielding, wreaking havoc on his body, to which an ill-advised injection of medical nanobots didn’t help.
p As Polly would put it, Castor has “two of everything”. His broad body plan is centaurine in form, carried by four thundering legs; at the back, two long and flat beaver tails jut out as if fighting for space. On his front half, he has four arms, one pair stacked on top of another, with bushy armpits under each shoulder. His padded hands also each have an extra thumb mirrored on each side, giving him twenty-four fingers in total — a boon to his ability as a mechanic, if nothing else. (He wears a matte-black engineer’s ring on his lower left ring finger.)
p The most obviously strange thing about him, however, is that he has two heads; each is practically identical except that the shade of green in his eyes is slightly warmer on his right than on his left. Despite that, he #[em is] just one guy in there, though in moments of intense emotion his train of thought often diverges into two streams.
aside.spicy
p At the back of the animalistic side of his body hang four surprisingly large testicles, plus two stout pricks emerging from one thick sheath. Their length, much to his chagrin, is nothing to write home about; he sometimes jokes that he’s packing “eight inches #[em in total]”.
p After the accident, he developed a surprising additional erogenous zone: an thin, unfurred, and highly sensitive patch where his two necks meet, which Polly speculates may be an exposed part of a structure analogue to the #[i corpus callosum].
h3 Social
p There are three true loves in Castor’s life: slacking off, bad movies, and Polly.
p #[b Slacking off.] It is, in some sense, his laziness which makes him a truly talented engineer. He would really rather be spending his time bumming around, and as such, he is highly motivated to find effective fixes to problems as quickly as possible, usually involving an inhumane quantity of duct tape. His colleague and old friend Beuce acts as the angel on his shoulder in these scenarios, guiding him to a more conventional solution; whether he’ll #[em accept] that solution is a different matter.
p #[b Bad movies.] As far as Castor is concerned, worse is better, and anyone who gets close to him will be rapidly acquainted with #[i the flash drive], a collection of some twenty-thousand #[+sc("B")]-movies originally given to him by a raccoon friend in college. Horror in particular is a highlight — there’s nothing better than kicking back after a long day debugging a broken sprinkler system to watch the fakest blood and guts this side of the asteroid belt.
p #[b Polly.] The odd couple began a a (shall we say) #[i non-Hipaa-compliant] relationship back when he was recovering from his wormhole accident and he was treating him in Medbay. The two of them have since become an inseparable duo, and she can often be seen riding on his back around the ship.
aside.spicy
p Castor used to think of himself as fairly vanilla, but developed an interest in bondage after the accident, finding it relaxing as a way to reduce the overstimulation of a life lived at twice the volume.
+h2("About Polly")
blockquote.epigram “My mama always used to tell me… Aletheia, #[em most] people are #[em mostly] nice #[em most] of the time — and damn the ones who aren’t!”
ul.vital-stats
h3 **Crew manifest**
li #[strong NAME]#[span.list-buffer /]Αλήθεια Πολυδεύκης, PhD
li #[strong DEPT]#[span.list-buffer /]Astrobiology, assigned to Medbay during downtime
li #[strong BORN]#[span.list-buffer /]Thessalonica, Greece, Pan-Europe
li #[strong SPCS]#[span.list-buffer /]#[i Didelphis virginiana sapiens] (Virginia opossum)
li #[strong GNDR]#[span.list-buffer /]Female
li #[strong SXLT]#[span.list-buffer /]Straight, but “reserves the right to change her mind”, whatever that means
li #[strong RLGN]#[span.list-buffer /]N/A
p #[b Aletheia “Polly” Polydefkis] is, by all accounts, one of the most talented astrogeneticists in Europe. There’s a picture in her bunk of her smiling giddily while holding a Petri dish on the front page of #[i Nature] and everything. But most people on board assume the “Doctor” in her name stands for #[i #[+sc("M.D.")]] — and why wouldn’t they?
p It’s a rare event when the #[i Ar­dha­na­rish­vara] actually finds something new, so most scientists on board have a second job to work, and her jury duty is treating patients down in medbay. Still, she got on this ship to advance the cause of scientific knowledge, and damned if she’s going to leave without having placed at least one more pebble on the shoulders of giants.
+h2("About Timo")
blockquote.epigram “Yeah, but it gave hir a big dick, too, so, hey. You win some, you lose some.”
ul.vital-stats
h3 **Crew manifest**
li #[strong NAME]#[span.list-buffer /]Timote@ Alhena Tjokrosutenturuno
li #[strong DEPT]#[span.list-buffer /]Information Technology
li #[strong BORN]#[span.list-buffer /]Sayap Garuda, Syrtisidis, Mars
li #[strong SPCS]#[span.list-buffer /]#[i Arctictis binturong sapiens] (Binturong)
li #[strong GNDR]#[span.list-buffer /]Hermaphrodite
li #[strong SXLT]#[span.list-buffer /]Pansexual; most prefers the company of others outside the gender binary
li #[strong RLGN]#[span.list-buffer /]Post-Śaivist
p #[b Timo Tjokrosutenturuno] is just here for the popcorn. Born and raised in an self-sustaining Asean colony on Mars, shi joined the #[i Ar­dha­na­rish­vara] with nothing but a passion for computing, a certificate from a community college, and #[s endless bugging from hir extended family] #[em a dream]. Culture clash aside, it’s turned out pretty well.
+h2("About Beuce")
blockquote.epigram “Sometimes I wonder how #[em either] of us ever got a degree.”
ul.vital-stats
h3 **Crew manifest**
li #[strong NAME]#[span.list-buffer /]Bucephalus Isambard Strathclyde, MSc
li #[strong DEPT]#[span.list-buffer /]Engineering
li #[strong BORN]#[span.list-buffer /]Wapakoneta, Ohio, U.S.
li #[strong SPCS]#[span.list-buffer /]#[i Equus caballus sapiens] (Clydesdale horse)
li #[strong GNDR]#[span.list-buffer /]Male
li #[strong SXLT]#[span.list-buffer /]Gay
li #[strong RLGN]#[span.list-buffer /]N/A
p #[b Bucephalus Strathclyde] tba tba tba tba
+h2("About Vyv")
blockquote.epigram “Right. Red means they’re shaggin’, blue means they’re just mates, green means they got beef, and yellow… Yellow’s some other shit, I dunno, it’s not a perfect system.”
ul.vital-stats
h3 **Crew manifest**
li #[strong NAME]#[span.list-buffer /]Vyvyan Null (#[i né·e] Redd)
li #[strong DEPT]#[span.list-buffer /]N/A
li #[strong BORN]#[span.list-buffer /]Glastonbury Tor Station, Jupiter orbit
li #[strong SPCS]#[span.list-buffer /]#[i Ailurus fulgens sapiens] (Red panda)
li #[strong GNDR]#[span.list-buffer /]Non-ternary “nullo” (trans)
li #[strong SXLT]#[span.list-buffer /]Bisexual in the extreme
li #[strong RLGN]#[span.list-buffer /]N/A
p #[b Vyvyan Null] is, frankly, an enigma. Officially, they’re not even on the crew; this is, depending on who you ask, either an innocent mistake due to their surname glitching out the IT systems, or because they hacked their way on and it’s too late to kick them off.
+h2("About Captain Akona")
blockquote.epigram “I need you to tell me: How soon can you get that log-gnawing layabout back on the #[em fucking] job?”
ul.vital-stats
h3 **Crew manifest**
li #[strong NAME]#[span.list-buffer /]Charlotte Akona
li #[strong DEPT]#[span.list-buffer /]Captain
li #[strong BORN]#[span.list-buffer /]Biloxi, Mississippi, U.S.
li #[strong SPCS]#[span.list-buffer /]#[i Felis catus sapiens] (Housecat)
li #[strong GNDR]#[span.list-buffer /]Female
li #[strong SXLT]#[span.list-buffer /]Top
li #[strong RLGN]#[span.list-buffer /]Yoruba folk religion
p Captain #[b Charlotte Akona] tba tba tba tba