slug: heraldry
translates: heraldry
lang: en
title: My coat of arms
thumbnail: coav5.png
thumbnailAlt: "A purple and white shield decorated with a wave across the middle and a bunch of grapes beneath a pair of antlers"
description: "This page details my very own personal heraldic achievement. It’s not registered with any heraldic authority (do i look like i’m made of it?), but heraldry is fun, so if the College of Arms want to sue me, that’s *their* problem."
pageCreated: "2019-12-09"
pageUpdated: "2025-10-17"
extends ../../views/layout.pug
append presets
- hasSidenotes = true
append cosmetics
link(href=qua("heraldry.css"), rel="stylesheet")
block header
h1 ☙ #{title} ❧
block content
#coa-hero
img(src=qua("coav5.png"))
dl
div
dt
abbr(title="The part that looks like a shield") Escutcheon
dd
abbr(title="Divided horizontally down the middle") Party per fess
| wavy
abbr(title="Purple") Purpure
| and
abbr(title="Silver or white") Argent
| , a bunch of grapes hanging from a pair of antlers
abbr(title="In the opposite colour to the field it’s on") counterchanged
| ,
abbr(title="At the top of the shield") in chief
| three
abbr(title="Stars") mullets
|
abbr(title="Of the second colour mentioned — that is, silver") of the second
| .
div
dt
abbr(title="The part above the helmet") Crest
dd
| A
abbr(title="Depicted from the waist up") demi-
| otter
abbr(title="Standing upright, with one hind leg and its forefeet in the air") rampant
|
abbr(title="In its natural colours") proper
| , bearing in its forepaws a caduceus Argent.
div
dt Motto
dd Assume no malice
div
small
| You can hover over or tap on text with
abbr(title="Like this.") dotted underlines
| to get a translation from jargonese to English.
p
| ↑ The above is my very own personal heraldic achievement.#[+sn(1)]
| It’s not registered with any relevant authority (do i look like i’m made of money?), but heraldry is fun, so if the
abbr(title="The institution in charge of granting coats of arms in England, Wales, Northern Ireland, and New Zealand") College of Arms
| want to sue me, that’s
em their
| problem.
+sn(1)
p Often referred to as a “coat of arms”, although that technically only refers to the pattern shown on the escutcheon.
p If you call the whole thing a “crest”, i’m terribly sorry, but we can’t be friends anymore.
:rubric-unsafe
## ::I.:: The escutcheon
img.float(src=qua("escutcheon.gif") alt="A purple and white shield decorated with a wave across the middle and a bunch of grapes beneath a pair of antlers." style="shape-outside: url(escutcheon.gif); max-inline-size: 50%;")
p
| The shape of the
abbr(title="The background upon which charges are placed") field
| is generally inconsequential — shield, oval, lozenge, square, whatever.#[+sn(2)]
| I do like to emblazon it as a triangle on occasion, such as on
a(href="/") this website’s homepage
| , for some extra pride-themed pizzazz.
+sn(2)
p Traditionally shields are used for men, and ovals and lozenges for women. As someone who is sometimes both and often neither, you can hopefully understand why i don’t really give a toss.
p
| Purple has always been one of my favourite colours; the connection with the
span.all-sc LGBT
| community, as well as the grapes (of course), help bolster its symbolic value. When combined with gold, it looked a bit too, ah,
em Ukip-y
| for my tastes, so silver it was instead.
p
| The wavy division of the field is a subtle
abbr(title="A heraldic design taking the form of a visual pun") cant
| on gender
em fluid
| ity, as well as referring to my general affinity for water and the ocean (more on that later).
p
| The grapes symbolise my devotion to
a(href="/shrines/dionysos")
span.theonym Dionysos
| , young old God of wine, merriment, effeminacy, general debauchery, and more.
p The tree-like antlers represent the two sides of my family, split by the North Sea, with the deer being a common animal across Europe.
p The three stars originally represented three national identities — English, Dutch, and European — and though that interpretation no longer resonates with me as it once did, they provide a vital balance in the design of the shield, and may well open themselves up to emerging symbolism in the future.
:rubric-unsafe
## ::II.:: The crest
img.float.left(src=qua("crest.png") alt="An otter bearing a silver caduceus." style="shape-outside: url(crest.png)")
p
| Me and the water have a long history. In the low-lying, flood-prone #[+sn(3)]
| Netherlands, all schoolchildren have to take mandatory swimming lessons, just in case the dykes ever break again. Britain, too, has a famed history of seafaring; from Anglo-Saxon longboats to the Windrush generation, traversing the water has been a necessity for this island nation.
+sn(3)
p
| “
i Formerly
| flood-prone” might be more accurate. Nearly every inch of coast is now lined with dykes or retracting barriers. We even deleted the South Sea (you know, as opposed to the North Sea) and turned it into two lakes, just to flex.
p
| So, why an otter? Much like the otter, i’ve been referred to as “semi-aquatic”, for all the above reasons. Plus, on the side, i’m a part-time
a(href="/furry") furry
| ,#[+sn(4)]
| with an otter as my fursona. (Forgive me.)
+sn(4)
p If you don’t know what a furry is, ask your local zoomer.
p
| It carries in its paws the mythological caduceus. Carried by
a(href="/shrines/hermes")
span.theonym Hermes
| , God of commerce, trickery, language, travel, and many more things far too numerous to list here, the snake-ensnared staff has naturally gained a great many meanings over the centuries.
p
| It’s most often#[+sn(5)]
| used as a symbol of international logistics, coöperation, and translation — which i hold in great regard, as someone who hails from two countries myself — and has also picked up an odd connection to us transgendered folk, thanks to the story of Tiresias (a legendary seer who lived as a woman for seven years and, in some tellings, caused the staff’s creation) and the androgynous
a(href="/shrines/hermaphroditos")
span.theonym Hermaphroditos
| .
+sn(5)
p
| Even more often than this, however,
a(href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caduceus_as_a_symbol_of_medicine")
| it’s mistaken for the Rod of
span.theonym Asclepios
| — a medical symbol which only has the one snake, rather than two.
:rubric-unsafe
## ::III.:: The motto
img(src=qua("motto.gif") alt="Assume no malice" style="shape-outside: url(motto.gif)")
p
| This motto —
i Assume no malice
| — is a rephrasing of
a(href="https://quoteinvestigator.com/2016/12/30/not-malice/") Hanlon’s razor
| , the idea that things are more often explained by misunderstanding and ignorance than deliberate malice and, thus, one should assume good faith on the part of the actor. It’s a concept i try to live my life by.
:rubric-unsafe
## ::IV.:: Supporters
p
| Being a mere plebe, i’m not entitled to
abbr(title="The animals or people depicted as holding up the shield, such as the lion and unicorn on the royal arms of the UK") supporters
| under either of my home nations’ heraldic traditions.#[+sn(6)] Were i ever to be elevated to a rank of such distinction, though, i’d choose a roebuck and a goat: a roebuck as an animal that spans both England and the low counties, and a goat for the
span.theonym Dionysian
| connection.#[+sn(7)]
+sn(6)
p In England, only noblemen and those elevated to certain fancy orders (the Order of the British Empire, the Order of St John, that sort of thing) are permitted supporters on their arms.
p
| In the Netherlands, the
a(href="https://www.hogeraadvanadel.nl/") High Court of Nobility
| — who manage arms for nobility and municipalities — allow supporters, while the
a(href="https://genootschap-heraldiek.nl/en/") Dutch Heraldry Society
| — who do the same for us commoners — don’t seem to.
+sn(7)
p You could probably depict the otter on the crest as a one-man supporter if you wanted to, now i think of it.
p
| For a
abbr(title="The part of the arms on which the supporters stand; usually a patch of grass or somesuch") compartment
| , i would specify a
a(href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogger_(boat)") dogger
| , nodding to the sunken North Sea plains of Doggerland as well as the two countries’ maritime traditions.
:rubric-unsafe
## ::V.:: History
p I went through quite a few designs for my arms before the current iteration. You can find the previous versions in the table below.
.gallery
figure
figcaption August 2019
img(src=qua("coav1.gif") alt="A coat of arms with antlers as a crest, non-binary mantling, and an escutcheon of 3 purple stars on a white chief, two otters, and at the bottom a bunch of grapes on a white chevron.")
figure
figcaption October 2019
img(src=qua("coav2.gif") alt="A coat of arms with an otter as a crest, non-binary mantling, an escutcheon of a purple shield with a white, antlered bunch of grapes surrounded by 3 stars.")
figure
figcaption January 2020
img(src=qua("coav3.gif") alt="The current coat of arms, but with the motto ’Our future lies amongst the stars.’")
figure
figcaption June 2020
img(src=qua("coav4.gif") alt="The current coat of arms, but with a transgender symbol in a purple triangle rather than a caduceus.")
figure
figcaption December 2021
img(src=qua("coav5.png") alt="The current coat of arms.")
:rubric-unsafe
## ::VI.:: Armigerous .com-panions
p Many others around the web have also armed themselves. An incomplete list of those who have detailed their heraldic achievements on their website:
ul#armigerous-list
li#bongo
a.image(href="https://bongo.neocities.org/roll.html")
img(src=qua("bongo.png") alt="Vert, a quill between two wheat stalks Argent, all issuant from a heart in base Gules")
strong
a(href="https://bongo.neocities.org/roll.html") Bongo
small
| of
a(href="https://bongo.neocities.org/") Bongo.Neocities.org
q “…”
li#jason
a.image(href="https://www.jasonburgoin.com/my-armorial-bearings")
img(src=qua("jason.png") alt="Quarterly Sable and Gules a cross Ermine between 1st and 4th three caltrops and 2nd and 3rda martlet Or")
strong
a(href="https://www.jasonburgoin.com/my-armorial-bearings")
| Jason
span.surname Burgoin
small
| of
a(href="https://jasonburgoin.com") JasonBurgoin.com
q “I pass through this world but once”
li#keeyong
a.image(href="https://chinkeeyong.com/2019/06/06/personal-coat-of-arms-2019/")
img(src=qua("keeyong.png") alt="Sable, on a bend Gules fimbriated Or, the symbol of Spades (as in a deck of playing cards) Or.")
strong
a(href="https://chinkeeyong.com/2019/06/06/personal-coat-of-arms-2019/")
span.surname Chin
| Kee Yong
small
| of
a(href="https://chinkeeyong.com/") ChinKeeYong.com
q(lang="la")
| “Arte non fortuna”
small(lang="en") (Art, not fortune)
li#cidoku
a.image(href="https://cidoku.net/en/stuff/arms/")
img(src=qua("cidoku.png") alt="Quarterly per saltire gules and argent, overall a saltire wavy surmounted by a four-pointed mullet counterchanged; in chief a crescent and in base a four-pointed mullet, both of the second.")
strong
a(href="https://cidoku.net/en/stuff/arms/") Cidoku
small
| of
a(href="https://cidoku.net/en/stuff/arms/"): i The Cidoku Network
q #[span(lang="fr") «Attendre et espérer»] #[small(lang="en") (Wait and hope)]
li#lonnie
a.image(href="https://www.lonniecolson.com/index.php/obsessions/medieval/58-heraldry-armorial")
img(src=qua("lonnie.png") alt="Gules, on a Chevron Or three cross crosslets fitchy of the first, on a chief of the second a Bear Sable passant langued and amred of the first.")
strong
a(href="https://www.lonniecolson.com/index.php/obsessions/medieval/58-heraldry-armorial")
| Lonnie
span.surname Colson
small
| of
a(href="https://lonniecolson.com/") LonnieColson.com
q(lang="la")
| “Leges juraque servo”
small(lang="en") (I serve justice and the law)
li#ensix
a.image(href="https://ensix.neocities.org/myheraldry.html")
img(src=qua("ensix.png") alt="barry raguly azure and or")
strong
a(href="https://ensix.neocities.org/myheraldry.html") Ensix
small
| of
a(href="https://ensix.neocities.org/") Ensix.Neocities.org
q “…”
li#victor
a.image(href="https://vicotair.neocities.org/arms.html")
img(src=qua("victor.png") alt="on a paly Or six Gules and Or, three ermine spots counterchanged, on a chief Vert three goblets of the second")
strong
a(href="https://vicotair.neocities.org/arms.html")
| Victor
span.surname Ferthyr
small
| of
a(href="https://vicotair.neocities.org/") Vicotair
q(lang="la")
| “Ex īgnī aureō”
small(lang="en") (Out of fire, gold)
li#derwin
a.image(href="https://www.derwinmaksf.com/Derwin_Mak_coat-of_arms.html")
img(src=qua("derwin.png") alt="Gules, on a bend Sable fimbriated Or between in chief a bezant pierced square and in base a maple leaf Or a three clawed Chinese dragon passant Argent langued Gules.")
strong
a(href="https://www.derwinmaksf.com/Derwin_Mak_coat-of_arms.html")
| Derwin
span.surname Mak
small
| of
a(href="https://www.derwinmaksf.com/")
| DerwinMak
span.all-sc SF
| .com
q “Mutate or die”
li#tmg
a.image(href="https://tmg.neocities.org/heraldik.html")
img(src=qua("tmg.png") alt="Sable, a spear and an oak leaf both Or in saltire, in a base wavy Argent a fess wavy Azure")
strong
a(href="https://tmg.neocities.org/heraldik.html") Markus
small
| of
a(href="https://tmg.neocities.org/")
span.all-sc TMG
| .Neocities.org
q(lang="de")
| „Für Wahrheit und Frieden”
small(lang="en") (For truth and peace)
li#maya
a.image(href="https://maya.land/heraldry")
img(src=qua("maya.png") alt="Azure, a moon crescent argent environed of 12 mullets in annulo argent")
strong
a(href="https://maya.land/heraldry") Maya
small
| of
a(href="https://maya.land") Maya.land
q “…”
li#novov
a.image(href="https://novov.me/heraldry.html")
img(src=qua("novov.png") alt=" Argent, a one-windowed tower proper windowed and doored of the first issuant from a flame proper; in the chief a mullet Vert")
strong
a(href="https://novov.me/heraldry.html") Novov
small
| of
a(href="https://novov.me/") Novov.me
q(lang="la")
| “Lucem porta in tenebris”
small(lang="en") (In the darkness, carry the light)
li#dcroe
a.image(href="https://dcroe.com/heraldry/the-arms-of-dale-c-roe/")
img(src=qua("dcroe.png") alt="Gules a Lion Rampant Argent head and mane Or on a Chief Azure four Clarions Argent")
strong
a(href="https://dcroe.com/heraldry/the-arms-of-dale-c-roe/")
| Dale C.
span.surname Roe
small
| of
a(href="https://dcroe.com/") Where Is My Spot?
q(lang="la")
| “Non dormio”
small(lang="en") (I sleep not)
li#justin
a.image(href="https://www.yellacatranch.com/my-arms/")
img(src=qua("justin.png") alt="On a shield Azure two bars wavy Argent between three swans rising wings elevated and addorsed Argent beaked and membered Or")
strong
a(href="https://www.yellacatranch.com/my-arms/")
| Justin
span.surname Swanström
small
| of
a(href="https://www.yellacatranch.com") Yellacat Ranch
q “Be just and fear not”
li#guy
a.image(href="https://exarandorum.com/arms-of-fr-guy-selvester-by-various-artists/")
img(src=qua("guy.png") alt="A golden shield topped with a green, fir-twigged chief and a red fleur-de-lis cross in the centre")
strong
a(href="https://exarandorum.com/arms-of-fr-guy-selvester-by-various-artists/")
| Guy
span.surname Sylvester
small
| of
a(href="https://exarandorum.com/") Exarandorum
q “Guide me Lord”
li#xanthe
a.image(href="/heraldry")
img(src=qua("xanthe.png") alt="Party per fess wavy Purpure and Argent, a bunch of grapes hanging from a pair of antlers counterchanged, in chief three mullets of the second.")
strong
a(href="/heraldry")
| Xanthe
span.surname Tynehorne
small
| of
a(href="/") The Satyrs’ Forest
q “Assume no malice”
p If you own a personal website with detail of your coat of arms and would like to be listed, leave a comment and let me know!