source ⟩ hypertext ⟩ public ⟩ misrule ⟩ 2022 ⟩ fuckstone ⟩ en.pug

//- meta
	slug: "misrule/2022/fuckstone"
	lang: en
	title: "Fred Fuckstone II: Huntsville, Alabama — Anonymous"
	descriptions: "*sounds of a tornado stuck in a dumpster*"
	pageCreated: "2022-12-18"

extends ../../21.pug

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	style.
		em.allcaps {
			font-style: normal;
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	h1
		| Fred Fuckſtone 
		span.roman II
		| : Huntsville, Alabama
		span.credit Sent in by an anonymous reader

block content
	p
		i *sounds of a tornado stuck in a dumpster*
	p
		| Hey, it’s TheGuyFromBoston, I’m gonna tell you what, my friend 
		em.allcaps Al Gore
		| , who’s one of the biggest 
		sup dirty motherfucking no good terrorist bastards
		|  the world, in the country, I don’t know, he sent me some shit here, and this is what I wanna talk about today. I’m gonna get fuckin’ bullshit, I’m gonna shit—
	p
		i *violent sounds of shitting*
	p
		| because if 
		em.allcaps Some of this shit’s right, I’m tellin’ ya, TheGuyFromBoston’s gonna
		|  shit
	p
		i *more violent sounds of shitting*
	p
		em.allcaps(style="text-decoration: 1px dotted underline;") We’re fucked! We’re totally fucked!
	p
		em.allcaps YOU LITTLE PRICK
		| !
	p
		| Huntsville, Madison Alabama, 
		em.allcaps FUCK YOU PEOPLE!
		|  All those sniveling, fuckin’ sneezin’ droolin’, fuckin’ sneezin’ droolin’, no good ass-fucking pieces of ass-fucking shit in this whole entire country, 
		sup fuck you people
		| !
	p
		| They re-built their fallout shelters, to protect 300,000 
		em.allcaps dumb fucks
		| , from TheGuyFromBoston.
	p(label="Fuck you people!") 𝐹𝑈𝐶𝐾 𝑌𝑂𝑈 𝑃𝐸𝑂𝑃𝐿𝐸!
	p
		| Now along comes, those 
		em.allcaps fuckin assholes
		| , from 
		em.allcaps the Associated Press!
		|  A-and they do this story, which is all lies [
		em.allcaps Editor’s note
		| : No it isn’t], about how Senator Arlen Specter wastes to 
		em.allcaps Fuck
		|  TheGuyFromBoston, okay?
	p
		| W̸̛̦̹͆͑͒̇͑H̴̛̗̩͙͙̒͊͘I̷̬͔̬͈̋̀̔́́́̓̔̎̈̚͘͝ͅC̶͔͔͇̺͚̫̥̽̽Ḥ̷̩͎͖̳̣̻̪̱̩̖̥͙̣͍̎̇̐̊͆̒̓͝ ̷̬̺̘̳̾̾͐̐͆͑I̴̧͈̾͂̈̓͆̇̑͒͝S̸̢̠̳̜͚̤̬͉̬̪̻͙̘̃̍̎̀̆͝ ̷͕͍͓̖̼̱̬̰͓͎̃̂͊̾͋̒̋͗͌̊́̍̉̒̀͜͝B̴̢̟̬̻͙̖̜̔̌̄̄͌͌̽̋̕͜͝͝Ú̶̠̦̑́̀̍͋̂͆̂̈́̊̏͆̚͠L̶̢̛͓̬̏͒̆̋̐̊̇͌͜͝L̸̝̝̦̺̬͔̳͚̻̤͎̤͙̥̾̈́̈̑̂̄̄̍̚ͅͅS̶͖̤͖̟̫̫̅͊̈́͋̌͆͗͌̄͊̄͜H̸̡̧͔͔̩̝͚̙̪̩͙̹̦̃̄I̴̠̜̰̼̮̰̹̖̗̘͉̖̦̓̍̃̅͊̇͆͒̀͂͗̔̎̑Ţ̵̨̢̭͓̱͈͇͚̯͇̪͍̱͇̃̒̃̋̔̍͐͐̑́̓̏, ‘cause it only costs a two-bitter, twenty-five cents, to fuck 
		em.allcaps TheGuyFromBoston! Wake the fuck up
		| !
	p
		| Arlen Specter, okay? This prick’s been around, since Jesus, had fuckin’ Judas, had fuckin’ Al Gore. But, for once, he’s one of the decent 
		em.allcaps Fuckin’ assholes!
		|  Kudos to you, baby! So 
		em.allcaps what the fuck
		| , everyone should be doing this shit!
	p(label="Wake the fuck up!") 🅦🅐🅚🅔 🅣🅗🅔 🅕🅤🅒🅚 🅤🅟❗
	p
		i *frustrated breathing*
	p
		em.allcaps Fuck
		|  this whole entire country! Goddamn the United States of America! You get out there, call the Homeland Security, tell them they’re pieces of shit, call TheGuyFromBoston, tElL ThEm ThEy”rE pIeCeS oF ShIT, call 
		em.allcaps Al Gore
		| , tell them they’re Doing Such A Great Job!, call these dirty motherfuckin’ no good terrorist bastards, tell them “Remember September 11
		sup th
		| ?” Call Huntsville, Alabama, tell them 
		sup
			em.allcaps i’ll stick a hot poker up your ass
		| !
	p
		i *camera shutters*
	p Fack yew!
	p Earlier this week, Fox news released a poll showing that the issue Joe Ligotti cares most about right now, is Joe Ligotti.
	p …what?
	p Joining us, right now, is Logan Airport Union worker and host of the Joe Ligotti radio show, Joe Ligotti! Joe this is-
	p
		em.allcaps OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH
		| !
	p
		| Listen, baby! I gotta f#$kin’ bone to pick, 
		em.allcaps I’M F
		| $#kin’ 
		em.allcaps pissed off!
		|  Don’t say I didn’t warn you, you dumb f#$ks! F#$kin’ Huntsville, Alabama, those #$%# #@$#holes, they built #$%kin’ these elaborate bomb shelters and #$%^ 
		em.allcaps TheGuyFromBoston
		|  proof, which is #$%#@%! And all the rest of you people, that are trying to f#$k TheGuyFromBoston, it’s only a cost of about 25 cents a person! I’m gonna pull my prick! 
		i *repeated prick pulling motion*