Discord funny moments

Sometimes, people say funny things on Discord. Given that links last either forever or a year (whichever comes first), i have elected to host some of my favourites here. All names have been anonymised; my "anonymised" handle here is <dearestDionysian>.

DISCORD® — 2019 Jun 23

<awkwardAdonis> Can you present me with a reasoned critique instead of just saying "why are you wrong"?

<beardedBacchanalian> No

DISCORD® — 2020 Apr 9

<beardedBacchanalian> But here's the thing

<beardedBacchanalian> What's perfect differs from person to person

<beardedBacchanalian> Like one man's hell is another man's pleasure dungeon and all

<beardedBacchanalian> IDK if I'm making sense

<effervescentEros> Please don't say pleasure dungeon

<floridFaunus> Dungeon of carnal desires?

DISCORD® — 2020 Mar 27

<gentlemanGanymede> now now capricorn, you know you can't bring guns to school unless you bring enough to share with the whole class

DISCORD® — 2020 Mar 17

<headstrongHephæstus> okay but props to belgium for being so evenly split down the middle

A map of Belgium within Europe, with the division between Wallonia and Flanders highlighted.

<beardedBacchanalian> Yea hephaestus jokes are usually split into parts

DISCORD® — 2020 Jun 13

<innocentInanna> atheist spaghetti

<floridFaunus> Inanna that's just the Flying Spaghetti Monster

<innocentInanna> just because you are correct

DISCORD® — 2020 Jul 19

<keeneyedKerberos> i think it's time to shut off the internet after seeing someone with an mlp pfp declare their love to filipino dictator duterte

DISCORD® — 2020 Oct 10

<melancholicMercury> if i were kim jong-il i'd consider supporting biden just to fuck with everybody

<dearestDionysian> mercury if you were kim jong-il you'd be a corpse

<melancholicMercury> are you implying i can't effectively rule a totalitarian state

<dearestDionysian> no it's just that kim jong-il has been dead for nine years

<melancholicMercury> FUCK

<dearestDionysian> i am sure you'd make an excellent totalitarian dictator though

<melancholicMercury> jong-un i mean, brainfart

<melancholicMercury> thank you

<melancholicMercury> senior moment

DISCORD® — 2020 Oct 21

<dearestDionysian> injects highly corrosive acid into your spinal fluid :3c

<floridFaunus> 😳

<nauseatedNestor> 😳

<obfuscatedOrpheus> why do I talk to you people

DISCORD® — 2020 Nov 28

<nauseatedNestor> NEMO!!! STOP BEING RACIST IN GENERAL

<nauseatedNestor> RACISM GOES IN #media

DISCORD® — 2020 Dec 30

<persnicketyPerseus> orpheus its 11:30 go to the zone

<innocentInanna> what zone

<innocentInanna> the chernobyl exclusion zone?

<persnicketyPerseus> snooez

DISCORD® — 2021 Jan 19

<quiveringQuirinus> I’m in my room playing church hymns on my keyboard and I hear my brother playing BIG BIG CHUNGUS on his fucking accordion

DISCORD® — 2021 May 31

<rambunctiousRomulus> illegal whispering

<rambunctiousRomulus> Does anyone have a way around the Economist's paywall?

<steadfastSarpedon> I know if you sign up for a free account you get a certain amount of articles per month.

<dearestDionysian> https://addons.mozilla.org/en-GB/firefox/addon/bypass-paywalls-firefox/

<dearestDionysian> worked for me

<rambunctiousRomulus> I appreciate both of your answers and their... diversity

DISCORD® — 2021 September 7

<dearestDionysian> I have a take but I don’t know how hot it is

<capriciousCapricorn> Only one way to find out

<dearestDionysian> BBC Radio > BBC Television

<tonguetiedTelemachus> YEAHHHH

<tonguetiedTelemachus> good old sleep deprived nights listening to very early morning radio 4

<ululatingUlysses> The Shipping Forecast has become the funerary bells for my sleep schedule

DISCORD® — 2021 August 26

<victoriousVulcan> "Land of the free" means nothing when a sandwich tyrant deprives you the right to easily accessible fried sticks of goat cheese

DISCORD® — 2022 March 21

<whisperingWadjet> DIY urinary tract rewiring

<quiveringQuirinus> fourth grade problems

DISCORD® — 2022 April 2

<xenialXylomancer> I am half-white and I think that half-white part of me has manifested entirely in me being someone who will defend the majority of coldplay's music

DISCORD® — 2022 April 18

<victoriousVulcan> i got ghosted by the squid facts hotline 😔

DISCORD® — 2022 October 4

<victoriousVulcan> what did i miss

<victoriousVulcan> why are we discussing anal beads in #admiral

<quiveringQuirinus> chess

<victoriousVulcan> this makes even less sense now

DISCORD® — 2023 January 14

<victoriousVulcan> some would say a Brazilian butt lift is an illegal hack in the eyes of God

DISCORD® — 2023 February 18

<ycleptYngvi> Like, what Shrek did with respect to the Disney Renaissance, the DCEU tried to do with Marvel, but failed spectacularly

<ycleptYngvi> Zack Snyder is less powerful than Shrek, is what I’m getting at

DISCORD® — 2024 May 26

<tonguetiedTelemachus> They asked for my id at the club. Tried to show them my ego and superego instead but they weren't having it

Comments

One comment

Please be nice. Comments may be edited for proper spelling and capitalisation, because i’m a pedant. Basic formatting: *bold*, /italics/, [//satyrs.eu links]→ More

Footer & credits

Page created: θʹ Mounychion χϟθʹ.γʹ / 2020 April 01 // Page updated: ιʹ☾ Thargelion ψʹ.γʹ / 2024 May 28

Credits: Background photo by Hongru Wang · XP.css

Back to home Cool cat video