Quotes and other assorted aphorisms

Nothing in excess

Μηδὲν ἄγαν

One of the maxims inscribed on the forecourt of the temple of Apollon in Delphi

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Robert J. Hanlon, as quoted in Murphy’s Law Book Two: More Reasons Why Things Go Wrong (1980, χπδ´.γ´)
The Big Lebowski (1998, χϟδ´.α´), written by Ethan and Joel Coen, performed by Jeff Bridges
Transcript

THE DUDE (Mr Bridges): Yeah? Well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

I will assume for the present — until next year — that it is no illusion. My first act of free will shall be to believe in free will.

William James, writing in his diary (1870, χξβ´.α´)

You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch.’

Edgar Mitchell, lunar module pilot aboard Apollo 14 (1974, χπη´.α´)
The Simpsons, series 7, episode 24 “Homerpalooza” (1996, χϟγ´.γ´), written by Brent Forrester, voiced by Dan Castellaneta
Transcript

HOMER SIMPSON (Mr Castellaneta): You wouldn’t understand, dad. You’re not with it.

ABE SIMPSON (Mr Castellaneta): I used to be with it! But then they changed what “it” was. Now what i’m with isn’t “it”, and what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you!

Men in Black (1997, χϟγ´.δ´), written by Ed Solomon, performed by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones
Transcript

AGENT J (Mr Smith): But why the big secret? People are smart; they can handle it.

AGENT K (Mr Jones): A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet. [HE SIGHS] Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.

The university is not engaged in making ideas safe for students. It is engaged in making students safe for ideas. Thus it permits the freest expression of views before students, trusting to their good sense in passing judgment on these views.

Clark Kerr, president of the University of California (1961, χπδ´.δ´)

There are some dogs which, when you meet them, remind you that, despite thousands of years of man-made evolution, every dog is still only two meals away from being a wolf. These dogs advance deliberately, purposefully, the wilderness made flesh, their teeth yellow, their breath a-stink, while in the distance their owners witter, “He’s an old soppy really, just poke him if he's a nuisance,” and in the green of their eyes the red campfires of the Pleistocene gleam and flicker.

Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (1990, χϟβ´.α´)

The best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question; it’s to post the wrong answer.

Steven McGeady, paraphrasing Ward Cunningham, inventor of the wiki (2010, χϟζ´.α´)

‘I have this plan’, Merlin says, ‘that for each formal scientific paper I ever publish, I will also write its dark twin, its underground mirror-piece — the true story of how the data for that cool, tidy hypothesis-evidence-proof paper actually got acquired. I want to write about the happenstance and the shaved bumblebees and the pissing monkeys and the drunken conversations and the fuck-ups that actually bring science into being. This is the frothy, mad network that underlies and interconnects all scientific knowledge — but about which we so rarely say anything.’

Robert Macfarlane, Underland (2019, χϟθ´.β´), pg. 108

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

“Personable” on Tumblr (2018, χϟθ´.α´)
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022, ψ´.α´), written by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, performed by Ke Huy Quan
Transcript

WAYMOND WANG (Mr Quan):So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, i wanted to say… In another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

A language is a dialect with an army and a navy.

אַ שפּראַך איז אַ דיאַלעקט מיט אַן אַרמיי און פֿלאָט

Max Weinreich (1945, χπ´.δ´)

The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980, χπθ´.δ´)

I am nothing but a bloody amœba. I am the only man in the country not allowed to give his name to his own children.

Prince Philip, upon learning that the royal family would continue to bear the Windsor name (1952, χπβ´.γ´)

After a maintenance day, Lahey offered to take John Ramsay to the bottom of the trench. Ramsay was conflicted, but, he said, “there was this sentiment on board that if the designer doesn’t dare get in it then nobody should dare get in it.” He climbed in, and felt uncomfortable the entire way down. “It wasn’t that I actually needed to have a shit, it was this irrational fear of what happens if I do need to have a shit,” he said.

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