Eurovision is coming up soon! The international camp-off disguised as a very serious musical competition took a sabbatical in 2020, no thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, but now that it’s back, it’s time for the annual tradition of encouraging our nation’s alcoholism by writing up a drinking game. (If, like me, you’re not overly fond of the golden drink, feel free to substitute alcohol with something equally sickening like chocolate milk. And if you are, please drink responsibly.)

One sip ☝️

• Drink to forget the pain of a boring ballad
• One of the presenters makes a joke that falls flat
• Someone mentions the coronavirus
• CrAzY DaNcInG!
• Phoning in the set design by just using shapes
• Innuendo
• Singing in their country’s native language
• “Ethnic” instruments
• Pyrotechnics
• Smoke machine, wind machine, or dry ice
• Rainbow flag
• Key change
• Oh my god, what are they wearing?
• Yes, yes, that’s nice, just give us the scores already
• “Hello? Is this thing on? Can you hear us?”
• A country gives douze points to one of its neighbours
• If you guess the country’s douze points right, everyone else drinks.

Two sips ✌️

• Something has obviously had to be curtailed or cut back due to the coronavirus
• Someone makes a joke about the coronavirus that falls flat
• Metal, punk, or some other unexpectedly hardcore genre
• Singing in another language... which isn’t their country’s native language
• A great visualisation, ruined by not standing in the right place
• Singer from another country
• Costume change
• A technical fault occurs
• Someone cries
• Graham gets the outcome of the country’s voting right
• The UK gets 12 points (this will never happen, but a man can dream)

Down your glass! 🍺

• Pyrotechnics set fire to something
• Someone jumps on stage during a performance

P.S. Other drinking games are available.