The GardenDespatches from The Satyrs’ Forest

Posts tagged as “alternate history”

List of Witchfinders-General of the United Kingdom

The Witchfinder-General is the head of His Majesty’s Finder Corps (known as HM Witchfinder Corps until 1952), the undisclosed agency tasked with classifying occult and otherwise anomalous phenomena in the UK and keeping their occurrence a secret from the general public.

1896–1900: W. B. Yeats

1900–1909: [Round Table gestalt leadership]

Yeats was discharged from his position in 1900 after his devastating loss in a magickal confrontation with Aleister Crowley, at that time HMWC’s enemy number one.

1909–1922: Francis Younghusband

1922–1935: Arthur Machen

1935–1948: Peter Fleming

Fleming’s management of the Witchfinder Corps during wartime included such feats as successfully placing an anti-Nazi geas around the island of Great Britain and the placement of a firewall in the collective unconscious against intrusions from German occultists, but his handling of the home front is more controversial, particularly when it came to the nascent public revival of the witch-cults. Supporters argue Wicca was successfully defanged as a threat to the public gestalt, but on the other hand, he still let the knowledge of the New Forest coven leak to the public in violation of all Corps protocols.

1948–1961: Ralph Izzard

1961–1974: Christopher Lee

1974–1987: John Bingham, Lord Lucan

Lord Lucan’s appointment befuddled many in the Corps, as he had no prior occult experience, and he immediately broke convention by ending his public life entirely rather than keep up a masquerade. Still, he ended up a much-needed reformer for the agency, finally lifting the ban on non-Abrahamic theurgy and increasing coöperation with overseas counterparts, such as David Lynch’s U.S. Occult Affairs Office and Dan Aykroyd’s Royal Canadian Witchfinders-General.

1987–1992: Marianne Martindale

1992–2000: [Round Table gestalt leadership]

Martindale’s thirteen-year term came to a swift end only five years in after it was revealed that she had acted as a double agent on behalf of St. Bride’s School, an Irish occult group which aimed to found its own cyber-republic separate from any temporal countries. The interregnum that followed was a disaster for HMFC; most infamously, the information firewall against Nick Land’s CCRU broke down, causing thousands in Silicon Valley to be infected by dangerous infohazards. The USOAO still hasn’t forgiven us.

2000–2013: Alan Moore

2013–present: John Constantine

John Constantine perhaps has the greatest cover story of all: officially, he is entirely fictional. A creation of his predecessor Alan Moore, he met him in a sandwich shop in 1993, and slowly continued to slip into consensus reality thereafter. Though those like him are ostensibly the very thing HMFC is meant to combat, Constantine proved a useful ally, and his semi-fictional nature has been nothing but an asset during his term as Witchfinder-General, allowing him to neutralise hyperstitions before they can even dream of breaking containment. That said, his time in office has been marred by instutitional rot in the USOAO, with many fearing he is not doing, or cannot do, enough to prevent the rising tide of “meme magic” and metaphysical civil warfare from crossing the pond.

List of actors to have played Doctor Who

Author’s note: I first wrote up this wee bit of allohistorical silliness in March of this year, posting it a few places online, but never actually bothered on my own website until now. Enjoy.

  • Doctor Who?, on CBS
    • 1963–1966: Vincent Price (Doctor Who)
      First episode: “The Girl from Another World”
      Last episode: “Planet of the Daleks”
    • 1966–1967: Jack Nicholson (Doctor Who, Theta Sigma)
      First episode: “Planet of the Daleks”
  • Doctor Who and the Daleks, on CBS
    • 1967–1972: Jack Nicholson (Doctor Who, Theta Sigma)
      Last episode: “The Paradox Web”
  • Doctor Who: Alien Agent, on CBS
    • 1973–1975: David McCallum (Agent John Smith / Doctor Who, Theta Tau)
      First episode: “The Mannequin Men”
      Last episode: “Doctor Who’s Mind”
  • Doctor Who and the Cyber-Man, produced by New World Pictures
    • 1980: Clu Gulager (Doctor Who / “That existed?”)
  • Doctor Who, on UPN
    • 1986–1989: Kyle MacLachlan (The Doctor)
      First episode: “Pilot”
      Last episode: “The Deadly Assassin (Part 1)”
    • 1990–1993: Bruce Campbell (The Second Doctor)
      First episode: “The Deadly Assassin (Part 2)”
      Last episode: “The Edge of Time”
    • 1994–1998: John Rhys-Davies (The Third Doctor / The Professor)
      First episode: “For Want of a Nail”
      Last episode: “Seta (Part 2)”
    • 1999–2002: Kate Mulgrew (The Fourth Doctor)
      First episode: “Changes”
      Last episode: “Hourglass”
  • Doctor Who, on NBC
    • 2005–2011: Neil Patrick Harris (The Fifth Doctor)
      First episode: “The Interstellar Interruption”
      Last episode: “Paradise Lost”
    • 2012–2013: Donald Glover (The Sixth Doctor)
      First episode: “…We Have a Problem”
  • Doctor Who, on Blockbuster
    • 2014–2015: Donald Glover (The Sixth Doctor)
      Last episode: “The Three Doctors”
    • 2015–2019: Nathan Fillion (The Seventh Doctor)
      First episode: “The Three Doctors”
      Last episode: “World Enough and Time (Part 5)”
    • 2019–2023: Daniel Dae Kim (The Eighth Doctor)
      First episode: “Grandfather Clock”
      Last episode: “1963”

Season 26 of Doctor Who is slated for a release in the late summer of 2024, starring Matt Smith of TCM’s A Song of Ice and Fire.

Actors who played the Master include…

  • James Shigeta as “the Celestial Master”, a one-shot villain from the Price era who would reoccur as a trickster figure in army fatigues in Doctor Who and the Daleks
  • Robert Z’Dar as “the Master of Time”, a larger-than-life egomaniac who forced MacLachlan’s Doctor’s regeneration and would regularly clash with him in the “actionised” Campbell years
  • John Anderson as “Mr. Seta”, a master (heh) of disguise who was written as a throwback to the Alien Agent era
  • Christopher Walken as “Professor Tannhauser”, who, in the far future, devises an equation proving humanity can escape the end of the universe — a plan that NPH’s Fifth Doctor gladly assists in, until one of them realises just who the other is…
  • Lady Gaga as “Claire Oswald”, a companion throughout the first season of the Fillion era who always seems to know a bit more than she lets on

Looking at the Big Sky: the world in 2025

I was, tentatively, putting off finishing this until i’d gotten the relevant part of the main site in a working state. But, given that i’m rebuilding the whole thing from scratch, and i was itching to put it out there — behold! The world in 2025 of Looking at the Big Sky, a sci-fi alternate-history -type setting i’m working on. (It’s not particularly sci- at the moment, i’ll admit — this is just a stepping stone on the way to 2338.)

You can find the full resolution image here. Wordpress is just being something of a shit.