An odd commonality with many of todayâs films is that, because either their production
companies have gone default or nobody really cares about them any more, you can watch them for
free on Youtube in varying degrees of quality right now. Videos have been linked where
applicable.
Every baffling product thatâs come out of Silicon Valley in the past ten years can be explained by
this film. Theyâve all seen it, and they all desperately want to make it real.
The
Humane AI Pin? Joaquin Phoenix carries around a little camera doodad in his pocket that he talks to instead of
using a screen.
Windows Recall?
Scarlett Johansson helps organise his computer.
People grieving the loss of their AI girlfriends?
You know it. Itâs a marvel they havenât tried to abolish our keyboards yet.
Itâs generally a strange experience watching Her in 2025, because it was right on the money
about so many things that it now barely registers as science fiction. Mr Phoenix and Ms Johanssonâs
robosexual relationship is meant to be beautiful, and it is Ââ
the most tender sex scene of the twenty-first century
occurs entirely through voice â but you have to work to quiet that little voice in your head going
âlol, this loser fell in love with ChatGPT.â (8/10)
Weapons takes the Silence of the Lambs approach to horror, being more of a
nerve-wracking thriller with some spooky bits in it than a traditional âhorror movieâ, and is all
the better for it. Satisfying as that ending was, it still seemed to be missing a little extra
oomph to me. (7/10)
âThis is the universe. Big, isn't it?â
My word, how had i never seen this before? Seeing nineteen-forties Britain in Technicolor would be
worth the price of admission alone, but everything about this tale of heaven and earth is so
touching, even when it suddenly decides to be about BritishâAmerican postwar relations. An all-time
classic. (10/10) (Watch now!)
The best kind of 6/10: a serviceable mid-afternoon action flick where Kurt Russell does his take on
The Vanishing. (6/10) (Watch now!)
Possibly the best werewolf movie weâre ever going to get? They do some brilliant stuff with whatâs
clearly quite a low budget. âI hope i give you the shitsâ is going in the movie one-liner hall of
fame. (6/10) (Watch now!)
From the director of Gremlins comes a nice little film where John Goodman plays a William
Castleâtype gimmick-horror director trying to promote his new B-movie in
the shadow of the Cuban Missile Crisis. A wonderful watch, if a bit slow to get going â every second
we see of Mant!, the fictional creature feature, is hilarious. (7/10)
(Watch now!)
Great intro, good-but-messy everything else. Itâs weird seeing a depiction of Ukraine in pop culture
before it all got coloured by the war. Nic Cage delivers as always. (6/10)
You know, this âAdolf Hitlerâ guy doesnât strike me as a very nice fellow. (7/10)
(Watch now⌠if you can speak German!)
âAnd what would a note say, Dan? âCat dead, details laterâ?â
Oh, this is glorious. Itâs cheap and crummy, but in the best way possible. Every actor knows
exactly the sort of film theyâre in and delivers a performance to match. The special
effects alternate between brilliant and hilarious. Watch it with your friends if at all possible!
(7/10) (Watch now!)
These were the last two films i saw at the cinema, and they tread similar ground, so i thought iâd
talk about them together.
âWeâre in enough trouble with HaShem as it is without driving on Shabbas.â
The only other Darren Aronofsky film iâd seen before was Ď, and while my understanding is
that the two are outliers in his filmography, Caught Stealing makes a great spiritual sequel,
a stylish, high-octane, downward-spiralling crime caper squeezing every last drop of cosmopolitan
flavour from its New York setting. Austin Butler is magnetic, and Matt Smith kills it in his role as
the instigating punk, but the real star of the show is surely Tonic, the acting cat. Possible
best-of-the-year material. (9/10)
âIf you donât give me the rendezvous point, i swear to God i will hunt you down and stick a
loaded fucking hot piece of dynamite right up your fucking asshole.â
Of the two, One Battle After Another has been the better-received, rapturously applauded from
all around as The Film Of The Year, a Very Important All-Timer Film with lots to say about The
Issues. And while it is great, i canât help but think⌠calm down? Itâs not the Second Coming.
Leonardo DiCaprioâs excellence was already pre-assumed, but Benicio del Toroâs Sensei Sergio is
surely the coolest guy of the twenty-twenties. Everyone else does nothing but larp, larp, larp about
how cool and revolutionary they are (or how bvsed and rvdpvlled they are, in the antagonistsâ case),
but heâs out there quietly putting in the work to protect his little community without needing to
brag about him. How can you not love a man with a secret ladder with a carpet that unrolls to hide
the entrance? (8/10)