Thereâs been a lot of kerfuffle in the art world as of late about the ethics and capabilities of
AI art (previously), and
as Britainâs leading institution for contemporary art, you seem like just the right people to bring
it to the public. My proposal is simple, but effective â let man and machine compete on equal
footing.
Eight or so talented human artists will be given a prompt to work from. At the same time, the same
prompt will be given to a state-of-the-art machine-learning algorithm, like Midjourney or Stable
Diffusion. In the gallery, the two works â one made by metal, one made by flesh â will be hung side
by side, and the audience will not be told which is which.
Next to each diptych will sit two bins where visitors can dispense plastic tokens (like the ones
they have at Asda) to vote on which painting is their favourite. At the end of the exhibitionâs run
(or perhaps updating live; your call), the votes will be tallied up, and weâll finally find out
whether us or our creations are the better artists.
If you really wanted to provoke, you could ask the humans to provide you with a list of every
painting theyâve ever seen, every photo theyâve ever taken, every film theyâve ever watched, and
every song theyâve ever heard. Then you put that big list up on the wall, tell the visitors that
Advanced Biological Neural Learning Algorithms have taken quote-unquote âinspirationâ from all of
these copyrighted works, and put to vote whether you should contact the rightsholders and ask them
to sue. It would be only fair.
ChĂŚre and regards, Xanthe. P.S. â I am not a crackpot.
Manchester is not particularly renowned as a home for the aristocracy or patrons of the high arts,
so i was pleased to discover upon a visit that the
Manchester Art Gallery is one of the finest of its
kind.
The Mag (as nobody calls it)âs success lies not in the size of its collection â itâs no larger than
my local, the Laing â but in its presentation. Like many museums, its curators have lately been
making efforts to diversify their collections and make them more relatable to the average yoof of
today. Itâs a process that can often come off as haphazard and rushed1, but
the team at the Mag have pulled it off with care and respect.
Newer works are dotted in each gallery in such a way that they complement, rather than denigrate,
the greats of old. A visa rejection letter from a group of Pakistani artists hangs alongside
Victorian paintings of eastern caravans; where a gallery about protest and revolution could have
added some shrewd, vapid letterpress and called it a day, the museumâs curators have instead chosen
to incorporate a thoughtful self-portrait by a South African painter, made in the wake of the
Marikana massacre.2
The captions accompanying each artwork face a similarly complicated task. Be too conservative and
youâll disappear up your own arse into a world of romanticist masturbation; be too reactionary and
youâll come off as cloyingly didactic, engaging in pseudohistoric iconoclasm for iconoclasmâs sake.
The Mag hit a stroke of genius here: after a brief description in the typical style, the captions
adorning prominent works also include conversations and thoughts from a variety of perspectives, be
it historians, curators, or the artists themselves. Itâs a brilliant way to further inform the
visitor without beating them over the head with one opinion, alienating them with arcane academese,
or leaving out unsavoury histories.
Other highlights on the lower floors include a portrait of the early black tragedian Ira Aldridge
(the very first work in the museumâs collection, which rather surprised me coming from the people of
1858), a Ghanaian tapestry that i was surprised to learn was actually made of glass, and a lovely
painting of an industrial scene lit by hazy fog whose name â to current meâs infuriation â i
neglected to include in the photo, taken from an angle so inconvenient that reverse image search
returns nothing of relevance. Past me is a bastard and iâm killing him when i get the chance.
Upstairs sit the galleryâs temporary exhibitions. The most prominently advertised was on the topic
of the history of menâs fashion, something i regrettably could not get myself to muster up any
interest in. Iâm sure itâs quite interesting if thatâs your sort of thing. The other (smaller)
exhibition sits in a surprisingly grand hall which, from what i can tell, normally houses the
museumâs pottery galleries, and itâs about tea. No wait come back i swâ
I jest, but there really is some fascinating stuff in there. The roomâs cabinets are packed with
advertisements, old jugs, and all sorts of other things detailing how hot drinks have shaped Britain
and the world over the years â from sparking conversation to funding colonisation. But there was one
thing that stuck out to me the most. A newly-created work of art, perhaps meant to inspire some
thought or another in the viewer, but that our whole group agreed could only be described as one
thing:
PS: I had to ask what the abbreviation âdblâ (âdoubleâ) on the signs for
upcoming trams meant. My poor exurban soul simply could not comprehend the idea of a transit system
that consistently ran so punctually â i had been thinking it stood for something like
âdelayed by lateâ.
PPS: This was meant to be the last post in the series, but my rambling
about the gallery got so out of hand that i thought iâd spin off its intended complement into its
own part. Tune in next week3 for one last dispatch from Affleckâs Palace.
I recently bought 1000 imagesâ worth of credits on DreamStudio â a machine-learningÎą-powered art generator â on a whim and, after the requisite âBoris Johnson taking a bath of baked
beansâ joke entries, i thought it would be an interesting test to get it to generate some images for
my shrines (on- and offline).
My motivations were twofold: first, due to copyright constraints, all of the icons adorning these
shrines were either old baroque paintings or freely-licenced photos of even older marble statues,
which didnât necessarily represent my mental image of the Godsâ appearances â a topic which, of
course, will vary massively from artist to artist and culture to culture. Second, i thought it would
be a fascinating experiment to see how this machine learning algorithm, which has taken in hundreds
upon thousands (perhaps millions; iâve not checked) of images, views the Gods in its latent space.
Just as it has a prototypical idea of a âdogâ and a âcatâ, surely it also has one for âGodâ and
âDionysosâ.
As is tradition, we begin this article with Hestia (although Her
portrait was actually the final one to be generated). On the broad strokes, my computer collaborator
knocked it out of the park â but a closer look reveals some glaring imperfections in the face and
hands, a theme which weâll be seeing a lot of (and which i sometimes managed to harness to my
advantage).
I should note that iâm not just feeding it theonyms with no added context: the programme works best
if you help it along to your goal with a heaping of adjectives and descriptors, say, to tell it that
this is indeed meant to be an artwork (â4K ultra
HDâ, âtrending on ArtStationâ), the details of the pose and background
you want (âblonde hairâ, âraising His hand to the skyâ), or the style and artists you want it to
take from (âbaroque painting by Thomas Coleâ, a prominent painter of beautiful, well-lit
landscapes). If you calibrate it just right, it can make some genuinely beautiful stuff, like the
above picture of Apollon (which i did, admittedly, have to manually
touch up to get rid of a prominent Habsburg chin).
It may be an immensely powerful tool, but DreamStudio can also be rather prudish.β
It blurs out any images it thinks might contain the utterly offensive sight of the genitalia with
which we are all born, which can be a real problem if the relevant pictures itâs learnt from are all
Greek and Roman statues â not exactly works known for their nether modesty. The detection software
isnât perfect, though, and sometimes, like in this portrait of GĂŚa, it
lets a few slip past (perhaps because of the greenish tone with which i instructed itÎł
to portray Her skin).
The algorithm sometimes has issues with more complex prompts, for it is just a machine, and doesnât
actually understand that âball on top of a red boxâ means that the ball indeed should be on
top of the box, as opposed to by its side, beneath it, or fused together in a horrific amalgam.
These troubles somewhat manifested themselves in the above portrait of Hermes; the winged cap He is
traditionally depicted with has transformed itself into both a crown and a hulking pair of soaring,
fleshy wings emanating from His shoulders, and the recognisable caduceus has been reduced to a
bamboo stick by His side.
Perhaps itâs just the style i instructed it to paint in â sixteenth-century European paintings
arenât renowned for their diversity â but DreamStudio also has some real trouble with darker skin
tones. You can cry âdark skin, dark bronze skin, dark skin, dark skin, dark skin, blackâ
all you want, but the only thing that can consistently get it to generate anything a shade below the
average Spaniard is âAfrican Americanâ, which tends to bring along a heap of other associated
physical changes besides just skin tone. (I have to say, i donât particularly envision Hermes as the
eponymous Futurama character in my head.)
It also has quite some trouble with arms and legs. Originally, i thought of its odd morphings and
multiplications as a bug to be stamped out, but i came to see them as a feature, representing the
manifold, varied aspects of the Gods, their omnipresence, transcending the limits of human form.
(This is also why the Hindus do it, if i recall correctly.)
I would have rather the above portrait of Hermaphroditos been slightly
more, ah, gynomorphic around the chest, so to speak, but iâd been trying to get a decent pose for
what felt like an hour and i didnât feel like fighting the blur anymore.
So then â itâs a bit off in places, and lacks the leopard-skin toga i would have liked, and lord
knows what the objects Heâs holding are meant to be, and it turned out the computer really, really,
struggled with the basic concept of a faun or satyrâs legs, but we end this post with DreamStudioâs
interpretation of an icon of Dionysos, framed by some beautiful
landscape.
Navigating through the neural netâs knowledge and limitations has been a fascinating, illuminating
exercise, which has left no doubt in my mind that âAI artâ is, indeed,
just that: art. It seems to me much more comparable to something like photography than painting:
rather than doing the hard work by hirself with brush strokes and pencil lines, the artist guides
hir computer collaborator through latent space, pressing âclickâ when sie finds something appealing.
One can only hope the Muses would approve.
As the solstice arrives, the week winds down, and the days begin once more to lengthen, itâs
time for our final submission for this yearâs Lords of Misrule. This one comes from an artist
known only as Newt S.For the last time this year, Io Saturnalia!
My sincerest thanks for everyone for participating this year. I wasnât expecting a single
submission, let alone five of the bloody things.
Down a narrow alleyway to the back end of St Nicholasâ Cathedral, in Newcastle, one can find a
rather curious decoration garnishing a door on the opposing façade. The âvampire rabbitâ has stood
watch over the cathedral for at least half a century; while records are scarce (a quick search of
Google Books doesnât bring up anything until the twenty-first century), it could well date back to
the buildingâs construction in 1901.
Hereâs the thing, though. Nobody knows how it got there. Indeed, even the name âvampire rabbitâ is a
misnomer; its jet-black fur and red claws were added on some time in the 1990s,i
as were its distinctly batty ears. Some say it was put there to scare away wannabe graverobbers, but
i have my doubts that twentieth-century crooks would be so dumb.
Yet others posit that it represents a
mad March hare, arising at the time
of Easter, or that it refers to Thomas Bewick, a nearby engraver who had a fondness of all things
lagomorphic. Most fascinatingly,
a theory advanced by one Mr Adam Curtis
suggests a Masonic pun in reference to one George Hare Phillipson, a local doctor (hence
vampires) and active Freemason, as was the lead architect, one William H. Wood. It being a secret
society in-joke would also explain why itâs located around the back, rather than the front, which
faces onto one of the busiest streets in town.
Perhaps we might never know for sure. In any case, itâs a fascinating little secret â what do you
think is most likely?
I don't know how
somepeople do it,
posting almost every day. I suppose my life just isnât interesting enough for this sort of thing!
Anyway. I was going to write up a full post about a recent jaunt to
Lady Waterford Hall, but my memory
is awful and iâm not sure that it would be very interesting. Instead, here are some photos
from the trip:
(If youâd like to visit, admission is free with a suggested donation of ÂŁ3, and the place is
wheelchair-accessible.)