Nestled amongst County Durhamâs moors and Pennine peaks lies Englandâs mightiest waterfall. The
waters of High Force tumble over 22
metres and 300 million years of stone, down into the plunge pool below. The falls were formed where
the river Tees meets the Great Whin Sill, a
tough slab of igneous rock covering much of the north of England.
When the water level is high enough, the force splits into two streams, one going the other way
around the rocksâââafter storms, it can even overflow the plateau entirely. Alas, despite recent
showers, my group were not so lucky.
The Raby family, owners of the estate, charge ÂŁ2 to see the view from the base of the falls. The
falls tower over any mere human who dares navigate down, demanding oneâs respect and attention⌠and
making it unmissable that, at the top of the falls, there are several people who walked their on
their own via the
Pennine Way, not having to
pay a single dime. Drat.
Information for visitors
Address:
High Force, Forest-in-Teesdale, Barnard Castle, County Durham,
DL12 0XH.
Getting there: Public transit connections are few and far between this far into
the countryside, so your best bet is to take a scenic drive via car through the Pennines and the
nineteenth-century village of Middleton-in-Teesdale.
Price: The Raby estate charges ÂŁ2 to access via the bottom, but the top can be
freely accessed by a hike along the Pennine Way.
Opening times: 10:00â16:00.
Accessibility and facilities: The trail is not, to my knowledge,
wheelchair-accessible. The site contains toilets and a hotel for anyone wanting to stay the
night.
The month of July is almost over, so itâs time for the traditional wrap-up of all that happened.
On the nineteenth of the month, with just over half of our population fully vaccinated against the
virus, England finally opened up and embraced full covid anarchy, come what may. For me, the primary
feeling was an overwhelming sense of relief: no more having to suffocate myself with a mask at the
shops, no more will-they-wonât-they, just⌠getting on with life.
Iâve taken the opportunity that is the unlocking to (vaguely) plan a series of posts which may come
to this blog in the near future. Keep your eyes peeled!
Films and TV watched
The Big Lebowskiâ A film about three dudes who just want to bowl. I have
heard great things about this film since roughly the moment i clicked on the âInternet Explorerâ
icon for the first time, and i canât help but feel i would have enjoyed it a little more had it not
had all the hype about it. Itâs an excellent film, and one iâll be rewatching soon, but i suspect
years on the internet inflated my expectations to an unreasonable extent. (Very good/10)
Yeah, well, thatâs just, like, your opinion, man.
Paddingtonâ Watched with some friends over Discord. A fine family film,
and a decent contender for the dictionary definition of âwholesomeâ. We could all strive to be a
little more like Paddington Bear. (Hard stare/10)
Fargoâ A film about a man who just wants to sell a used car. A great
black comedy thriller with even better accents (oh yah). (Super/10)
Whatâd this guy look like, anyway? â Oh, he was a little guy⌠kinda funny lookinâ. â
Uh-huh. In what way? â Oh, just a general kinda way.
Inside â9 â This
comedy-horror-drama-plot-twistiness-is-that-a-genre?-probably-not anthology show just doesnât miss.
Almost every episode is uproariously funny, slightly creepy, and has a twist that will leave you
with your mouth hanging open at the screen.
I had that Mapmaking Itch, but, cursed by bike-shedding paralysis about the alternate history map
idea i hadÎą, i decided to do a little doodle in the back of my journal
insteadâŚ
Donât mind the chicken scratch. I would have done some nice coloured shading, but i couldnât be
bothered to go downstairs to fetch the coloured pencils.
Absolutely gutted for Bukayo Saka right now. Poor ladâŚ
My apologies for the delay. I knew iâd forgotten something!
Music listened to and TV watched
Bo Burnhamâs Inside: A strong candidate for my favourite Thing of 2021. It is, frankly,
unfair that one man can make me feel so many emotions in the span of an hour and a halfâââloved
almost every minute of it!
(That song about sexting does drag on a bit, thoughâŚ) (A+)
Wolf Aliceâs Blue Weekend: Bloody brilliant. (A)
Beabadoobeeâs Our Extended Play: Yeah, thisâll do for new music from The 1975 while we
wait for that Drive Like I Do compilation album. (B+)
Haimâs Days Are Gone: Didnât really do much for me. Some alright singles, though! (C-)
Porter Robinsonâs Nurture: After months of promising iâd listen to it in full when i
got my hands on the vinyl, i finally admitted to myself that it was out of stock and iâd have to
wait until August otherwise. Itâs a pretty good album, but part of me wonders how iâd feel about
it if i hadnât worn the singles to death already⌠(B)
Euro 2020: Iâd never really thought myself the football fan type. NeverthelessâŚ
come on England!!
Via Hansard, the official record of British parliamentary business, thenâLabour
MPJoe Ashton informs us of the sort of nonsense
that went on when the government had a majority of minus seventeen:
We used to have a bog trotter. When the Division bell rang, we had a top and bottom bog trotter
whose job it was to run around all the toilets to see if anyone was locked in. We had to look
under the door for feet and, if seen, we looked over the top. If that person was one of theirs
we left him, if it was one of ours, we got him outâââif necessary with a screwdriver to unlock
the door from the outside. That was the sort of nonsense that occurred when the House divided.
I remember the famous case of
Leslie Spriggs, the then Member for
St. Helens. We had a tied vote and he was brought to the House in an ambulance having suffered a
severe heart attack. The two Whips went out to look in the ambulance and there was Leslie
Spriggs laid there as though he was dead. I believe that
John Stradling Thomas said to
Joe Harper, âHow
do we know that he is alive?â So he leaned forward, turned the knob on the heart machine, the
green light went around, and he said, âThere, you've lostâââit's 311.â That is an absolutely
true story. It is the sort of nonsense that used to happen. No one believes it, but it is true.
[...]
When Parliament was first broadcast, for the first three days the
BBC broadcast everything that came through the loudspeakers. It was
libellous, it was unbelievably crude, but it was hilarious. The
BBC panicked and said, âSomebody will sue us for libel. If it is in
Hansard it is okay, but if it is not in Hansard we will be done for libel.â So
the BBC stopped broadcasting everything; now, it jams the broadcast
so all people hear is, âHear, hear, hear.â It is terrified of being sued for libel.
The gorgeous gorge that is the Tyne valley has no shortage of winsome views, but the most beautiful,
in my opinion, is that which appears to one who goes down the Side.Îą In the
Monumentâs shadow, after passing the classical columns of the Theatre Royal and descending Grey
Street as it becomes Dean Street, finally taking a turn onto the Side at the bottom, the lucky
traveller will find themself towered over by the behemoth that is the Tyne Bridge:
The rotting wooden stairs, as seen on Google street view.
Iâm not sure any photograph can ever match what itâs like to be there under that bridge. One of the
most remarkable things about this view, though, has nothing to do with the view itself, but rather
what happens if one walks down the Quayside for a little while, reaches an empty brownfield plot,
and clambers up a set of rotting wooden stairs to its right. Because, inexplicably, just a few
metres from the most beautiful view in town, one can find the second most beautiful view in
town, a glorious lookout on every bridge linking the two banks of the river.
We donât deserve this city.
I had initially neglected to bring a water bottle along with me; i had only intended a quick jaunt
to the centre of town and back, and the foolhardy idea of walking all the way to Wallsend came to me
spontaneously. This quickly proved a bad idea, and so i made a trek up to the corner shop, who
thankfully had all the bottled water anyone could ever want or need.
After leaving fully rehydrated and ready to walk back, i noticed the most wonderful little thing. A
parklet, this small opening of green space with some benches and inscriptions, tucked between a
housing area and a construction site. I took some picturesâââi would have loved to show them to you,
but alas, my phone got stolen in the intervening time between this trip and me writing this post,
taking the photographs with it.
Nevertheless, if youâd like to visit (or live vicariously through Google street view), itâs that
little park adjacent to 5 Belmont Street. (Google stubbornly refuses to give a proper address, but
you canât miss it!)
An account of my thought process upon seeing the above building complex:
That building looks exceedingly evil, but i canât quite place my finger on whyâŚ
Just a few yards ahead, crossing a foot-and-cycle bridge, i happened upon some strikingly relevant
graffiti, alongside some other pieces which really sum up the modern English psyche: an Extinction
Rebellion poster, a crossed out âEDLâ,β and a cock and
bollocks.
I carried a record from HMV (the Killersâ Hot Fuss, if you must
know) the whole way, and let me tell you, my arms were positively aching by the end of it! At least
i had a bagâŚÎł
To sign off, here are some photos whose stories werenât interesting enough to make the cut, as well
as a map of the journey. Thank you for reading this disjoint mess.
Top left to bottom: A picture looking downwards from shortly after the second best view; a nice
view of the AkzoNobel factory on the opposite bank of the river; some tower; and the literal
wallâs end of Wallsend.
I just got done watching
that new Bo Burnham special everyone's so
excited about. I loved it: i laughed, the songs are catchy, the beard looks good on himâŚ
but i canât believe i have to add a song called âWhite Womanâs Instagramâ to the
list of songs that have made me cry!
