Two iceberg charts of
surreal movies and
strange films. I may have to watch, erm,
all of these â especially Wax or the Discovery of Television Among the Bees, which keeps
coming up in my dives into net-art historyâŚ
Yep, that one's going in my Rich Evans Folder (2.1TB)
Hope whoever
felled the Sycamore Gap tree
enjoyed whatever kicks they got out of destroying a centuries old piece of local heritage. Sick
cunt.
De Sledgehammerprojectie â vernoemd naar
het Peter Gabriel-lied â is een nieuwe
oppervlaktegetrouwe kaartprojectie in dezelfde niche als de Winkel-tripel. Een
samenstelling van de projecties van Hammer en Peters behoudt oppervlakte, geeft aantrekkelijke
curven aan zowel meridianen als parallellen, en haar puntige polen vervormen verre noordelijke
regioâs veel minder dan haar afgeplatte equivalenten. (Ik durf wel te zeggen dat zelfs de Antarctis
er goed genoeg uitziet!)
De precieze formule, afgeleid van het techniek
Strebe (2017):1
This post relies on some spiffy new browser features,
and might not work on your machine. Apologies.
The Sledgehammer projection â named after
the Peter Gabriel song â is a novel
equal-area map projection designed to fill the same niche as the Winkel Tripel. A composite of the
Hammer and Peters projections, it preserves area, gives both parallels and meridians pleasing
curves, and with its pointed poles, it does not distort areas in far northern latitudes to the
extent that flat-topped projections such as
Equal Earth do. (I dare even
say that it handles Antarctica alright.)
The exact formula, based on
Strebe (2017)âs technique:1
Welcome back, ladies and gentlefolk! Iâve been trapped labouring in a Colombian salt mine for the
past four months, but after a daring escape which my lawyers have advised me not to speak of, iâve
returned to safety to provide you all with yet more contentÂŽâ˘.
Some links iâve had sitting around gathering mothballs to start you off:
I was, tentatively, putting off finishing this until iâd gotten the relevant part of the main site
in a working state. But, given that iâm rebuilding the whole thing from scratch, and i was itching
to put it out there â behold! The world in 2025 of Looking at the Big Sky, a sci-fi
alternate-history -type setting iâm working on. (Itâs not particularly sci- at the moment, iâll
admit â this is just a stepping stone on the way to 2338.)
I donât know if itâll come across too well in photo form. I was lying
on the grass, as one does, and lo and
behold, there in the sky appeared what i could only describe as a double-backwards-double-rainbow:
Iâve never seen anything like it. Maybe that makes me a shut-in? I donât know. Some quick prodding
around revealed it to be not a rainbow, but a halo: a
circum-zenithal arc, its iridescent
colours made by the low sunâs light filtering through the icy clouds above.
The Sagrada Familia. The view from a Pennine peak. My home town from above, caught by pure chance on
a flight to Turkey. The first sight of the Tyne Bridge down Grey Street. And now this. Thatâs the
top tier â sights iâll never forget in my life.
Hello. Youâve probably figured this out by now, but my personal life has been getting quite busy at
the moment, and postings on the site will be taking a back seat until, hm, letâs say the end of June
or thenabouts. Donât call it a hiatus â itâs just a minor pause.
A visual book recommender
â like a big map of the literary world, designed to simulate the experience of looking through a
used book store. Wish there were something like
this for films!
Good evening, âGreeceâ was a 1000-year social experiment conducted by Oxfordâs classics department.
Thank you for your coĂśperation.
2008 Tom Scott video: The First Annual Yorkshire Pudding And Spoon Race 2013 Tom Scott video:
The Blinking Light That Keeps Pedestrians Safe 2018 Tom Scott video: I Got To Go-Kart Around A
Particle Accelarator 2023 Tom Scott video: It's like a TARDIS for foxes.
Well, i rode it out for three years, but i finally caught covid. o7
The internet was lit ablaze last year with the rediscovery of Martin Scorceseâs obscure masterpiece
Goncharov, and itâs easy to see why. Accessible yet complex, of its time and yet
progressive, it was ripe for a critical reĂŤvaluation.
What people donât often hear about is its sequel â one that Marvelâs biggest fanboy didnât even know
existed. The rights having fallen into the lap of the bloated corpse of Cannon Entertainment, they
dumped it straight to video in 1989, leaving it to be forgotten.⌠until now!!!
Goncharov 2: The Quest for Gonch (sold in the USSR as
The Quest For God) is the biggest piece of shit since the fat one i laid in the McDonaldâs
deep fryer last weekend.1 The Gonch himself is no longer played by Robert
DeNiro â clearly too good for this shit â but an up and coming Danny DeVito, wearing an unconvincing
latex mask which sits somewhere in between
Tom Cruise in Vanilla Skyand
that one I Think You Could Leave skit.
Yes, this was the Farrelly Brotherâs first picture. They tried taking a more serious film for their
first work, but it falls flat on its face in many places. I found the scene where the Gonch huffs
thirteen cans of glue to be quite amusing for all the wrong reasons. Devito put his heartâ
I neither know nor care who you are but please stop defending The Quest for Gonchâ˘. The Goncharov
Cinematic Universe does not need this sort of slander, and neither does this blog!
Listen, there is TONS of potential for the Goncharov Cinematic Universe to expand from this film.
Itâs not the best film, sure itâs⌠wellâŚ
âŚ..
âŚwell, it is definetly2a film.
Well if youâre going to get technical, itâs not a film! Itâs a video! Iâd say it was shot on a
potato, but thatâs an insult to potatoes â when you compare it to the beautiful composition of Gonch
1â˘âs ending clock shot, this was shot on a yam.
Ok, sure, the picture quality wasnât the best, but Iâd blame that on the filmâs rushed development.
It was first approved by Scorceses in the late 1980s as a fallback in case he was killed by a
conservative lynch mob during the production of The Last Temptation of Christ as a
fallback.
You have no understanding of the complex lore behind /The Quest for Go(nch|d)/, you
absolute fucking nitwit. You fool. You Fucking Nimrod.
The Last Temptation of Christ was released in 1988, and Concharov
II was released in 1989â
Martin Scorcese had no involvement in this. This was that fucker Matteo Bunchofnumbersâ idea. You
know how i know that? Because if Martin Scorsese knew about the existence of Goncharov 2: The Quest
for Gonch, heâd have not only killed himself, but figured out how to kill himself twice.
Youâre half-right; he had no involvement in the film, but he did approve its creation solely to
profit off of any VHS sales. I know this because a friendâs cousinâs
nephewâs sister-in-lawâs bossâ sonâs great uncle knew a guy who worked for the Cleveland Plain
Dealer and did an interview with Scorsese not long before the filmâs release.
I guess killing yourself twice just results in you coming back to life. Look â regardless of Marty
McFly or whatever his name isâ affiliation with it, can we focus on the end product? I mean, that
scene where Kremlinova trips over her high heels in that blue dress, and then when it cuts to the
next shot, itâs orange! Orange! Donât you try and fucking pretend itâs some deep symbolism
that predicted the rise of every movie poster in the 2000s, itâs just the director having a fucking
washing sponge6 for a brain!
Actually, I thought it was one of the more insightful scenes of the film. The dress colors symbolize
the slow and gradual fall of Russian society from great pride in an idealistic world to the growing
realization that said utopian dreams will never fruition, and the subsequent moral collapse
127.192.34.27 therein.
They couldâve used a better dress for the scene, though.
73 West Boulevard, Ocala, Florida8
So then Goncharov gets aids. You know â given how tenderly G1 /
Gonch Wick Chapter 1 handled its gay love scenes, thereâs a real opportunity there! But
since this is being directed by Thomas Ouiseau (no relation? I think?), he âcatches aids from a
government cactusâ, starts coughing up blood, and immediately says âi have the aidsâ and dies.
Yes! Iâm writing over you! Fuck you!
My least favorite part of the film would be the scene where Goncharov punches an Albanian
consort woman. It was not necessary to the plot at all, and just felt like a dated excuse to
throw in a bar fight scene. Oh my god, are you seriously writing over me? Wha- how is
this even possible?
Fine, you know what, here.
Youâve heard of Marsyas and Applo before, right?
Youâre in Comic Sans now.
hhhNOOOOO
You know what, hang on, this is my blog. I donât have to put up with this crap. I can just tell you
to leave. Or whatever.
That feels rude, actually, now i think of it.
I was never invited, so telling me to leave simply doesnât work in the first place. Algorian logic.
Pretty deep stuff interdimensional. Donât think a normie like you would understand.
Look, can we just agree on a rating out of 10 and then go? The people need to know if G2ÂŽ is worth
the purchase!
âŚ
0.85/10.
I think youâre being too nice with that 0.85. I mean, what is this? IGN?
Thrembo/10. Too many overly long sex scenes.
Thatâs not even a real number. Not since the incident.
Anyway â i give Goncharov 2: The Quest for God (God never shows up, incidentally, unless you count
the Kandinsky painting in the beach scene) an (eiĎ+1)/10.
I revise my earlier rating. Rational numbers are better for ratings.
I give the film a
-bÂąâ(b²-4ac)2a/10. Has the potential for greatly expanding the Goncharov universe, but its attempts at being both
a psychological thriller and a slapstick humor film wrapped into a mafia film are simply too
confusing for most viewers.
Thankfully, the first Goncharov11 film on
VHS was also the last. And itâs stayed that way ever since. (We donât
talk about the Blockbuster trilogy.12) Good night.
I hate this sort of thing, you hate this sort of thing, letâs get it out of the way. In addition to
capturing old web pages, the Internet Archive is also home to untold thousands of old videos, games,
and books â each of the latter of which correspond to a real, physical book in their collections.
They lend them out like a library, for only one person at a time⌠until the pandemic, when they made
the perhaps ill-advised decision to lift the borrowing limits for that limited time. Publishing
companies, who werenât too happy with that, pushed the nuclear button, sued them over the entire
idea of digital lending, and
now a federal courtâs decided against them. Theyâre planning to take the fight as high as they can go â
and they could use your donation.
As i said, i hate to do this â you donât need me to tell you about all the ways the world is fucked
up â but iâm willing to make an allowance when it affects me in particular. So many pieces of
internet history, even on this site, now only exist as digital ghosts in their machines (hell, i
even had to replace one of the links here with an Archive.org link after the author was suspended
from Twitter). And i canât count the number of musty out-of-print books that i would have never been
able to access here from my comfy chair in England if it werenât for the IA preserving them for a
new generation.