Merry Christmas to all who celebrate, and good tidings to everyone else — my gift to you is one last
sack full of links to send off the year. Mx Tynehorne’s Link Roundup®™ will return in 2023.
ALRIGHT BUCKO IT’S FUCKING NOVEMBER, PUT YOUR GODDAMNED HANDS UP!
MARIAH CAREY IS DEFROSTING RIGHT FUCKING NOW AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
THIS FUCKING HALLOWE’EN SHIT IS OVER MERRY CHRISTMAS I WANT YOU TO REPEAT
AFTER ME “MERRY CHRISTMAS” RIGHT NOW AND I’M NOT LETTING YOU GO UNTIL YOU DO IT
MERRRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO
NOW YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING WHY I’VE BROUGHT YOU HERE TODAY AND THERE’S ONE SIMPLE REASON. THE WAR ON
CHRISTMAS? IT’S FAKE. IT’S A FUCKING PSYOP. WE’RE RECRUITING YOU INTO THE REAL WAR.
THE WAR ON SANTA CLAUS.
THIS RAT FUCKING BASTARD SANTA IS AGGLOMERATING CHRISTMAS INTO ONE CORPORATISED YANKEE MEGATRADITION
AND THIS CANNOT STAND! FATHER CHRISTMAS IS THE REAL ONE. SINTERKLAAS AND HIS WEIRD RACIST FRIENDS
ARE THE REAL ONES. SATURN IS WEIRD BUT WE KIND OF STOLE HIS SHTICK AND ALSO WE’RE PRETTY SURE HE’D
EAT US IF WE DIDN’T LEAVE HIM BE. DED MOROZ IS STAYING. BUT SANTA CLAUS? WE’RE KILLING THAT
ELF-ENSLAVING ASSHOLE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8
YOUR SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS MISSION WILL BE “FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK”, PLAYED ON REPEAT FOR SEVENTY-TWO
HOURS STRAIGHT. THIS IS BECUASE SANTA IS HOMOPHOBIC AND YOU NEED TO GET ACCLIMATISED TO HIM CALLING
YOU A WELL YOU KNOW
WE HAVE LASER EYES POWERED BY THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS AND WE ARE NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM
AND AFTER WE’RE DONE, OH TRUST ME BUCKO, WE’RE NOT STOPPING THERE. YOU THINK NOVEMBER IS BAD? WE’RE
GONNA EXTEND CHRISTMAS SEASON TO ALL YEAR ROUND. HALLOWE’EN? YOU MEAN PRECHRISTMAS? SUMMER HOLIDAYS?
YOU MEAN CHRISTMAS IN JULY??? THAT’S RIGHT FUCKER IT’S CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY THE PROPHECY IS TRUE
MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’ve mentioned a number of Christmas traditions i keep up here in the past, and thought you all
might have wanted some updates.
I, alas, lost the Pogues Game on the very first
day — i was putting on “Driving Home for Christmas” and failed to notice that The Algorithm had
queued the song of my nightmares up for me next. (I proceeded to lose again on the night
before Christmas, this time at the hands of Bradley Walsh.)
You’ll be pleased to hear that
our annual exchange of Christmas gifts on Minecraft
went all according to plan this year. Someone built me a little shrine to do as i pleased with,
which was quite nice of them.
Not pictured: the already-burnt Gävle goat.
Finally, i’ve added the annual haul of records to the database for your
perusal… but mostly for my own reference. :-)
