The GardenDespatches from The Satyrs’ Forest

Posts tagged as “meta”Page 2

I am not good at computer

Tagged as meta, technology☞ Two comments

Non-techies, you can safely ignore this post and go on with your day. But, tech people, if you’re still reading… a little help for an ignorant soul, please? 😅

I’m planning to add a comment section to the main part of my website. The problem is, of course, that i’ve barely ever touched PHP and Sql before, let alone tried to make something like a comment system, and as such, i have no fucking idea what i’m doing.

I’ve got a design figured out — see above — and a rough idea of what the database will look like:

  • postId: Integer, generated by adding some random digits to the end of a Unix timestamp
  • timestamp: Integer, just a Unix timestamp of when the comment was submitted
  • commentLocation: Unicode string, max. 32 chars?, indicating on which comments section the comment was posted
  • displayName: Unicode, max. 128 chars?, is what it says on the can
  • emailAddress: Unicode, max. 128 chars?, used to generate the avatar via Gravatar and maybe filter spam if it comes to that
  • website: Unicode, max. 128 chars?, used to… link to the commenter’s website
  • commentText: Unicode, max. 4096 chars?, the actual text of the comment; will be processed as a subset of Markdown
  • planet: Unicode, max. 16 chars?, any comment for which the response isn't earth will get thrown out

So, erm… any suggestions? Improvements? Ways of not getting my site hacked? Polite ways of telling me that this was a terrible idea? are welcome in the comments below.

Update: sidenotes are back!

Tagged as meta☞ Leave a comment

It’s a meta one, this; you can safely ignore this post if you’re just here for the trudges through increasingly-obscure north-eastern locations and hauls of links to websites which aren’t this one.

That being said, sidenotesi are now back and functioning again! My apologies for the delay.

Your regularly scheduled programming will be resuming soon, with a walk down a stream which turns into an unexpected microcosm of local history. I’m sure all the Americans in my audience are thrilled.

Chrimbo updates

Tagged as Christmas, computer games, life, meta, Minecraft☞ Leave a comment

I’ve mentioned a number of Christmas traditions i keep up here in the past, and thought you all might have wanted some updates.

I, alas, lost the Pogues Game on the very first day — i was putting on “Driving Home for Christmas” and failed to notice that The Algorithm had queued the song of my nightmares up for me next. (I proceeded to lose again on the night before Christmas, this time at the hands of Bradley Walsh.)

You’ll be pleased to hear that our annual exchange of Christmas gifts on Minecraft went all according to plan this year. Someone built me a little shrine to do as i pleased with, which was quite nice of them.

Not pictured: the already-burnt Gävle goat.

Finally, i’ve added the annual haul of records to the database for your perusal… but mostly for my own reference. :-)

Lords of Misrule

Tagged as Lords of Misrule, meta, Saturnalia☞ Leave a comment

This is a copy of the main page for this event.

“Iō Saturnalia!” So went the cry that marked the start of the eponymous classical holiday. For one glorious week, Roman society was turned on its head: slaves became masters; togas were out and ostentatious displays of colour were in; gag gifts were given; and one lucky person was elected the local King of Saturnalia. Whatever orders the King barked had to be followed, no matter how ridiculous. This tradition clung on even into the Christian middle ages as the English “lord of misrule” — a lone pagan vestige in a monotheistic world.

So, in the spirit of those winter holidays, to lighten up this frosty time of year, i thought it would be fun to let you play that rule for my website. Welcome, one and all, to the first annual satyrs.eu Lords of Misrule!

If you write or put together something — absolutely anything — and email it to misrule@satyrs.eu, come Saturnalia (that’s December 17 to 23, for those who understandably aren’t up to date with ancient festival customs) i’ll put it up on the site, both on the blog and on its own dedicated, permanent subpage, etched in stone for all to see.

I would ask that you don’t submit any political polemics (we’ve had quite enough of those) or anything that would get me in legal trouble, but apart from that, anything goes. Your gran’s chocolate cake recipe? An impassioned defence of Freddy Got Fingered as an ironic masterpiece? A rant about how keyboards aren’t what they used to be? Whatever you — my lords of misrule — want.

You can submit your entries from today until the 16th of December, 2021. Have fun, and don’t be afraid to get weird with it!

— Marijn

Welcome to the new Garden

Tagged as links, meta, links, meta☞ One comment

Ah, i see you made it over. Welcome, one and all, to the new, improved, Press-tastic The Garden! After months of having to toil away at arcane computer code and consoles for the old version, i’ve coughed up the money for a real web host, freeing me to use the much more user-friendly WordPress.

The new home is a little rough around the edges in some places; as a novice, i wasn’t able to fully replicate everything. I think, though, that the missing pieces are more than made up for by what’s new: you can now natively search through the archive of posts, i can post shorter postsα without having to go through so much faff, and most importantly, we now have comments!

So, with pride, here is the first dump of links of the new blog:

And allow me to finally say: Leave your thoughts in the comments below! (Or don’t. I’m not your mum.)

Welcome to the new Garden

Tagged as links, meta, links, meta☞ One comment

Ah, i see you made it over. Welcome, one and all, to the new, improved, Press-tastic The Garden! After months of having to toil away at arcane computer code and consoles for the old version, i’ve coughed up the money for a real web host, freeing me to use the much more user-friendly WordPress.

The new home is a little rough around the edges in some places; as a novice, i wasn’t able to fully replicate everything. I think, though, that the missing pieces are more than made up for by what’s new: you can now natively search through the archive of posts, i can post shorter postsα without having to go through so much faff, and most importantly, we now have comments!

So, with pride, here is the first dump of links of the new blog:

And allow me to finally say: Leave your thoughts in the comments below! (Or don’t. I’m not your mum.)

Welkom bij de nieuwe Tuin

Getagd als links, meta☞ Eén reactie

Ah, je hebt het gemaakt. Welkom, een en al, bij de nieuwe, verbeterde, Press-tastische Tuin! Maandenlang zwoegd ik met esoterische computercode en consoles voor de oude versie. Nu heb ik eindelijk het geld opgehoest voor een echte webhost, met de véél ge­bruiks­vriende­lij­ker software WordPress.

Op sommige plaatsen is het nieuwe site een beetje ruw: ik ben maar een beginner, dus ik kon niet álles kopiëren! Maar ik denk dat de missende stukken goedgemaakt worden door wat nieuw is: ingebouwd zoeken, het vermogen om kortere berichten te postenα, en bovenal, reacties!

Dus hier is, met trots, de eerste linkverzameling van de nieuwe blog:

En sta me toe om eindelijk te zeggen: Laat uw gedachten achter hieronder! (Of niet. Ik ben niet je moeder.)