âHello, Spotify? Iâd like to listen to Green Dayâs âNormal Idiotâ.â [maniacal laughter]

âHello, Spotify? Iâd like to listen to Green Dayâs âNormal Idiotâ.â [maniacal laughter]
I had some time to kill after buying my mam a present from Tynemouthâs station market and decided to spend it by taking a walk in the golden hours of the day, now that spring is coming around and the weather isnât quite so permanently miserable. I thought i might show you some photos.
I went to see everyoneâs favourite synth-pop act Chvrches a few nights back, and i must say they put on a hell of a show. Even at the City Hall â quite a stuffy venue by most standards â the crowd went absolutely mental for âClearest Blueâ at the end! (I barely know what came over me.)
Great staging, too â i counted three costume changes throughout the night, including a delectably bloody âFINAL GIRLâ shirt for the encore. (Their latest album has a horror-movie gimmick crafted entirely to let them swap remixes1 with John Carpenter â not that iâm complaining.)
The opening act were an Ozzie band called HighSchool who, being brutally honest, should go back to PrimarySchool. Theyâre one of those acts that basically only know how to write one song over and over, and itâs alright at first, but by take number five of the same sludge youâre praying for it to end, you know? (See also the inexplicably successful 1975 cover band Pale Waves.)
9/10, would stand in line for several hours again.
Well, i donât know about you, but iâve had a nice few weeks. Went to see the new Batman at the cinema, bought some records, went out on a couple of jaunts â you get the idea. Anyway. Links.
I was on my usual city constitutional the other week when i noticed that my favourite bubble tea place1 had shuttered. Hm, thatâs odd, i thought. Last time that happened was lockdown. Donât know why theyâd do it again. I assumed theyâd be back again swiftly, and went on with my day.
Then the week after i noticed that the entrance to the Ăźber-hip shipping-container food court of which it was a part was blocked off. Hm, thatâs odd, i thought. Ah, well. Itâs probably just construction. These things happen all the time.
It was only yesterday that i saw the crane lifting one of the shipping containers away and realised something (other than the container) was up. Sure enough, one quick google reveals the flashy new development thatâll be taking its place â originally it was going to be mixed-use, but covid crunch caused them to scale back to the thing that covid really, conclusively proved was absolutely 100% necessary and in demand, definitely: offices.
âPilgrimâs Quarterâ is part of a broader redevelopment of the neglected Pilgrim Street, which may or may not include a pedestrianisation â i donât know; itâs all in jargonese and i canât make heads or tails of what Enhancing The Public Realm is meant to mean. (Or, for that matter, why theyâve misspelt it as âPilgrimâs Quaterâ on the official brochure.)
The permission slips are all in place â so hereâs to you, Stack. You might have had some exorbitant prices (sorry, Korean place, but iâm not paying ÂŁ12 for a few chicken wings and fries), but otherwyze you were a shining beacon of small businesses in the city centre â you were too good for this world. *Pops open a bottle of champagne*
You know how this works. From X to Y, hereâs some links iâve scavenged from around the ânet.
Kevin Kelly, ex-editor of the Whole Earth Catalog and founder of Wired, brings us âThe Big Here Quizâ, a 30(+4)-question test of how well you know your local area. I thought iâd give it a shot. Mr Kelly says heâs âextremely interested in hearing from anyone who scores a 26 or better on the quiz on their first unassisted-by-Google tryâ, which absolutely does not include me. Youâve got to learn these things somehowâŚ
While i might not have got the questions 100% correct, i still found it a fascinating learning experience. How many did you get right?
S | Lavendel, kaneel, vers gemaaid gras |
A | Vanille, oude boeken, nieuwe boeken, buitenlucht |
B | Knoflook, nieuwe autoâs, citrusvruchten, knisperend brandhout, mest* |
C | Lijm, bleek, verf, koffie, je eigen lichaamsgeur |
D | Mest*, natte honden, lichaamsgeur van anderen, cannabis, uitlaatgassen |
F | Sigarettenrook, rotte eieren, kattenpis, menselijke uitwerpselen |
* Mest zit in een superpositie waarin het alle tiers tegelijk zou kunnen bezetten â aan de ene kant stinkt het naar stront (omdat het dat ook is), maar na zo lang op het platteland te hebben gewoond, kan ik niet anders dan het verfrissend vinden voor de zintuigen. Het is de geur van het ontsnappen aan de stad - de geur van Demeter!
S | Lavender, cinnamon, freshly-mown grass |
A | Vanilla, old books, new books, âthe outdoorsâ |
B | Garlic, new cars, citrus, crackling firewood, manure* |
C | Glue, bleach, paint, coffee, oneâs own body odour |
D | Manure*, wet dogs, other peopleâs body odour, cannabis, exhaust fumes |
F | Cigarette smoke1, rotten eggs, cat piss, human waste |
* Manure is in a curious superposition where it could probably occupy every tier at once. On one hand, it smells like shit (because it is), but after so long living in the country, i canât help but find it refreshing to the senses. Itâs the smell of having escaped the city â the smell of Demeter!
Hello. Iâve done some things in the past month and a half. They were alright.
Not sure how i feel about the ethics of CGI Harold Ramis, mindâŚ
One of the more surprising results of the recent investigation into Big Borisâs lockdown conduct was the unearthing of a playlist used to motivate employees during their completely ordinary work events. Highlights include:
This list of songs, no doubt, absolves the government of any kind of wrongdoing.
Just a month or so after Arwen, another storm has decided to come over here and mess things up â this time Storm Malik (no relation to Rami or Terrence). Ripped-up power poles, blustering winds, uprooted trees⌠but this mog seems fine with it.
I fucked up my fingers prying open a Yankee Candle too hard the other day. At least it was my off hand. Anyway. Links!
Spurred on by a brief shower thought, iâve tried my hand at making a playlist âfor the bad daysâ: songs (mostly rock) with big, soaring crescendos that feel like an out-of-body experience. Your âBitter Sweet Symphoniesâ, your âHoppĂpollasâ, your ââHeroesâ-esâ â the songs that make you have faith in humanity, and make you not want to jump out of a thirtieth-storey window so badly.
Iâve been asking around for suggestions on the usual (Discord) channels, and have got some cracking songs in return â so, do any of you want to try your hands at it? Iâd love to hear your ideas. :-)
Hereâs the current set of songs on the playlist, to give you an idea of the general âvibesâ â exceptional examples are highlighted in bold.